Let Me Start by Saying…

TL;DR: Evolution is weird and brains are weird, because language skills come from the same brainparts that our extraordinary movement skills come from and is the only reason we have language in the first place. And it’s completely normal to use your hands when you talk.

Sometimes there’s a story that runs in the media about what the first language was or what the first words were. I’m not an expert in that field, so I have to take the word (Ha!) of others, but I tend to side with the group that’s pessimistic about how much we could possibly prove about the first language.

Written language has only been around a very short while, linguistically speaking, so there’s no documentation that goes back far enough to be directly helpful. And yes, you can use certain methods to help formulate ideas about what an extinct language might have been like by analyzing its descendants and other related languages that are still in use. But if you try to work your way back through more than a couple generations of those, you’re really just speculating.

But the topic is too tempting–what did we first say to each other? What was so important that we invented an entirely new behavior that has yet to be observed in any other animal? What situations or activities would have been made so much better that evolution would favor them?

It’s easy to say that language is advantageous—look at us now!—once you get to the point of having a well-developed language. But it couldn’t have just sprung forth, fully formed out of a caveman’s mouth one day when they suddenly felt like they had something to say. There had to be a rather humble starting point, and it had to be chock full of advantages in order to be worth passing on to the next generation.

A couple of researchers have proposed an idea that I find pretty compelling: that it had to do with teaching. Specifically, teaching how to make tools and use tools.

Yes, other animals use tools. In fact, other animals can make tools—we’re not unique in that respect. And yes, other animals engage in both individual learning (figuring things out for themselves) and social learning (learning by watching other animals do things). But we are the only animals that set about deliberately and specifically teaching; instructing others how to do something new. That’s huge.

The researchers theorize that at this point in our evolution we had already been cooking food over fires, so there’s a couple of pretty key technologies that you’d want to pass on efficiently to the next generation. And then, of course, there are the methods and skills in making stone tools that would be a big advantage to the next generation if they could get up to speed faster. Their theory also fits neatly with our ability to communicate with sign language and why we often gesture as we’re speaking—our first words were probably uttered as we were demonstrating how to perform a task.

OK, fine, we started grunting while we showed others how to make a fire or cook a chicken and that became language and we all lived happily ever after? Not quite, but close. There’s a concept known as ‘exaptation’ which is when a feature that has evolved for one purpose gets pressed into service for another purpose 'cause it just works so damn well.

Apparently, the dinosaurs that developed feathers had them at first because they were good for insulation—it was only later that they became useful for flying. Similarly, our brain capacity for highly evolved motor skills (evidenced by making tools and building fires and cooking food) got hijacked for language, which made us more successful at making tools and using tools, etc. and the whole thing just kept ratcheting up because language is a skill multiplier. Evolution of our species favored highly developed motor skills and language skills because they’re the same damn thing.

So even if we don’t know what the first language was or what the first few words were, we might at least know what was being discussed. And if you’ll indulge me in a little speculation of my own, I would offer the following English “translations” of the first utterances:

“Here, watch”
“Careful”
“Slowly”
“I said slowly”
“Don’t cut yourself”
“Hey! Pay attention, I’m not doing this for my health!”
“No, it’s fine; you’re learning. I’ll get another one... Quit screwing around, this is important!”

“OK, you know what? Just... I’ll finish this one. Go and play with your brother.”