Wrong Languages

I studied German in high school. I thought it would be interesting to learn it because I have a German last name and half of my family tree was German. Relatives had at some point come to America from Germany. It seemed like I might get to know a little something about my heritage by learning German, though I wouldn’t have put it in those terms at the time.

Many of my classmates told me that I was wasting my time; that I should learn Spanish instead, on the grounds that it was more useful. After all, we share a border with Mexico, not Germany. But I wasn’t interested in the Spanish language, and I was determined to study something relevant to my family history instead.

Which did not come in very handy when I found myself traveling alone in Sweden for work in the 90’s. I stopped for gas on my way back to Stockholm and went inside the station to pay with the company credit card. The attendant seemed very business-like—not quite what I was used to growing up in Minnesota where warm smiles permeated every transaction. There was a problem with the card and she seemed to need more information. 

Unlike everyone else I had met on my journey so far, she spoke no English and two or three attempts to communicate (Swedish vs. English) what the problem was didn’t advance our mutual understanding. I remembered that someone had told me earlier that there were a few German television stations that broadcast in Sweden. (No explanation for this was ever given.) So in an attempt to understand and be understood, I asked her—in German—if she might speak some German. She scoffed and frowned as if that was absurd and pathetic; as if I had suggested we consult a Ouija board to figure out what to do next.

In the end, I finally understood that she needed an additional number to complete the transaction. I think she keyed in my driver’s license number (or maybe my zip code or birthday—I never did find out) and I was able to pay.

And as it turns out, according to a DNA test, I’m only about 5% German; the rest of me is Scandinavian.